the one thing I absolutely need in s3 is ed and stede just fucking around again. acting stupid together. hanging out. want them to do more of that “blackbeard’s bar and grill” roleplay shit, fueled by rhys and taika’s unstoppable chemistry. but it’s gonna be different than in s1 because now 50% of the time those roleplays will turn into a sex thing
Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence
Northern Cardinal, 4/10
I’m sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I’m pretty sure they’re just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn’t agree to participate in your kink, guys.
American Robin, 1/10
Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.
House Sparrow, 10/10
You’re a gang. You’re participating in gang violence. There’s ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it’s been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?
Tufted Titmouse, 1/10
A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor’s garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.
European Starling, 9/10
Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it’s always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you’re an innocent bystander defending yourself. I’m onto you.
Carolina Wren, 3/10
This rating is not for physical violence, which you don’t engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they’re fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don’t have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.
Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10
If this were “birds who think they’re better than everyone else,” you’d get 10/10.
Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10
It’s a utility pole. It’s not a tree. You’re surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.
American Crow, unrated
For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you’re right. None of my business.
Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10
Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.
Stay tuned for more criminal activity!
(continued)
Common Grackle, 7/10
La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.
Tennessee Warbler, 2/10
You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.
Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10
You’re not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.
Gray Catbird, 5/10
Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.
Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10
You’re doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.
Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10
A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You’re so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.
Blue Jay, 12/10
If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.
Honorable mention:
Turkey Vulture, 5/10
You weren’t in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.
enough about that other guy, i want to talk about stede in season two.
i want to talk about how he didn’t even care that all his things had been destroyed, that his only concern was what that destruction said about ed’s state of mind.
i want to talk about how he mucked right in with the crew at jackie'z and on zheng’s ship.
i want to talk about that excellent belly flop into the fucking ocean when they found the revenge.
i want to talk about that absolute romantic hero moment on the rocky shoreline, giving the bottle a kiss before tossing it into the sea
i want to talk about how completely he understands ed, from burn the world or die trying to i know (you love me). i know that.
i want to talk about how he remains his bitchy, hapless, cringefail self while still growing as a person and getting better at things. His better may still be worse than other people’s good but he’s getting there.
i want to talk about how he gave up his swishy red suit because the crew needed him to.
i want to talk about how much more palpably comfortable he is in his own skin this season, with none of the finery that was a shield and a prison for him his whole life.
i want to talk about how he never, ever gave up on ed no matter what. Because stede was in Love, goddamn it, finally, and he was not going to lose that, to death or mutiny or anything else.
OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach in Season 2
For the first time in my life, I’m truly and fully present. I used to view the sea as a battlefield, but now I can appreciate the bounty it has to offer, and all of the natural beauty that surrounds it. I am but a humble wanderer, blessed with this feast, no better than a heron, or a blade of grass, or some sand, or like… I don’t know, a wave or something.
stede becoming friends with steak knife to the point of feeling devastated about his death after drinking and talking to him for less than an hour is the pirate-equivalent of two drunk girlies meeting in the club’s bathroom
I long for you. Every day we spend apart feels like an eternity. I know you don’t wanna hear from me, but I write these letters daily, hoping one will reach you. And I know we’re not through. I can feel it in my soul. A love like ours can’t disappear in an instant. We’re joined to one another. Intertwined. We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.
To be clear, THIS is how nights of the future should be lit
This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.
orange and especially white lights deter bats and prevent them from reaching feeding grounds at nighttime. Please if you can, write to your local council and encourage red street lights!!!!
ALT
